Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson

Last year I read “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. In theory, I like the idea of the book, not caring. But as I read more, the book really annoyed me. Not giving a f*ck is great until you become an insensitive, hard-headed, self-centered person who thinks that anything you do is fine because you shouldn’t care.

All that’s to say, I was skeptical when I picked up “Everything Is F*cked.” But, I was pleasantly surprised. Manson challenges readers to “create their own religion.”

• Step One: Sell Hope to the Hopeless
• Step Two: Choose Your Faith
• Step Three: Preemptively Invalidate All Criticism or Outside Question
• Step Four: Ritual Sacrifice for Dummies – So Easy, Anyone Can Do It!
• Step Five: Promise Heaven, Deliver Hell
• Step Six: Prophet for Profit!

I think this is an interesting way to visual the world we live in and the narratives we live by. It challenges worldview and puts into perspective that we have the ability to shape our lives going forward.

Overall, I enjoyed this book a lot more than Manson’s first novel. Some may argue that “not giving a f*ck” is still the way to go, but I choose to believe caring about our lives, and the people in it, and shaping a new narrative for ourselves is the way to go.

Keep reading,

-d

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg

As a gay man, I’m astounded at how little I’ve read of gay literature. When I was growing up, and figuring out who I was, I didn’t feel like I could relate to much in the books I read. It makes me happy to know that many YA authors are making more of an effort to create gay literature. Middle and high school is such an important time for gay youth and having an outlet in these stories is a huge benefit to their mental health.*

My fiance gave me this book for my birthday last year and it’s definitely a YA novel. The book never gets too “deep” and the story is a little unrealistic. Rafe is an openly gay boy from Colorado, but when he gets accepted to an all-boys boarding school in New England, he decides to go back in the closet. He doesn’t want to be known as the gay kid. He just wants to be one of the guys.

For the most part, his plan works. He plays soccer and football with the guys, and gets to hangout with them without the sigma of being that “gay guy.” Unfortunately, his parents and best friend back home don’t understand why he’s “hiding” who he is.

Rafe and Ben, one of his fellow classmates, become close friends. They stay up late talking, sharing intimate details about their past…except for the fact that Rafe is gay.

Eventually this relationship turns romantic. Rafe loves talking with Ben, and Ben is confused about what he’s feeling.

Things come to light at the end of the book and Rafe is outed. Ben feels betrayed, not because Rafe is gay, but because he hid it from him. Ben thought they were close enough that Rafe could be honest with him. He feels deceived and questions the feelings he had for Rafe.

Unfortunately, we don’t get a lot of resolution for Ben and Rafe. There are two more books in this series, so I will have to pick up the next two to find out what happens between Ben and Rafe.

Until next time,

-d

*gay characters need to be main characters, not just token, side shows no one takes seriously

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This was the first book I read when quarantine started. It came highly recommended from some of my coworkers. It was slow to start and I had a hard time adjusting to Eleanor’s voice. I’m not even sure how to describe it other than “proper.”

Eleanor has a dark past we don’t know much about until the end of the book. She befriends a man from work who pushes her out of her comfort zone. Through this friendship, she starts to reevaluate aspects of her life like her her strict routine and use of vodka to cope with her past.

Each week, she speaks to her mother on the phone. Their conversations are bland and forced. Eleanor’s mother often critiques every aspect of her life.

Eleanor “stalks” a man whose the lead singer of a local band. She made it her mission to make him fall in love with her. She craves the love of a man, but it has to be on her terms. Throughout the book, she realizes this man may not be everything he imagined him to be.

In the end, we find out about the trauma Eleanor has endured in her life. I don’t want to ruin the ending for anyone, but I will say I didn’t see it coming. I really did enjoy this book, even though it took me a while to get into it.

-d

It’s been awhile

I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since I wrote a review. Honestly, I’m not sure what happened. Life sometimes takes a weird turn.

Since my last review, I met a wonderful man who I will be marrying in just 75 short days. I bought a house in 2017 where my two cats and I lived our best bachelor life. But, when my fiance moved in, our household grew to four cats, and we’ve added two dogs to the mix.

Anyway, with the recent global pandemic, I’ve been getting a lot of reading done while working from home. I’ll be catching up on some reviews from the last three months, and, hopefully, getting back to reviewing as I read.

Stay tuned.

-d

Binge by Tyler Oakley

I have a confession. I’m obsessed with YouTube. By that, I mean, I check my subscriptions daily to make sure I don’t miss any new content. And let me tell you, I’m subscribed to some really great YouTubers, including, but not limited to, Mamrie Hart, Hannah Hart, Joe Sugg, Miranda Sings and, of course, Tyler Oakley.

My obsession began about six months ago and I was surprised by how many of these YouTubers had written books. Being sucker for backstories, I really wanted to read as many of them as I could. (I even have plans to go buy A Work in Progress by Connor Franta in just a couple days when the hard copy comes out). The first on my list, Binge by Tyler Oakley.

Tyler has been someone who I’ve watched time-to-time, but never really started following him until recently. As another gay man, he annoys me sometimes, but I really enjoy what he does. His memoir only slightly touches on his YouTube career and how he got where he is today. Mostly, he talks about his life and who he is as a person, the person when the camera is off.

It was a great look into his life and would give hope to many young questioning teens. I don’t particularly conduct myself like Tyler and I don’t think all gays should, but it’s comforting to know that we all go through the same things in our process of realizing who we are.

I really enjoyed the book, even though there were a few parts I could have done without (i.e. ranking Disney princes), and it was a really quick read with lots of great pictures from the past. Anyone struggling with their sexuality, or who’s obsessed with Tyler Oakley, should give this a go. I should also mention, Tyler has a documentary coming our soon called Snervous, which I’ll likely watch.

Also, this was another book I finished a in just a couple days. The last time I finished two books in one week was several years ago when I read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire like they were the last books I’d ever read.

-d

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

My local bookstore holds a monthly book club and November’s selection was Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. I hadn’t heard much about the book before, but apparently it’s been a well received book (as an employee of a NPR station, I had to use them 🙂 ). And I can see why. I think it’s worth noting that it usually takes me about 2-3 weeks to finish a book because, well, that’s who I am, but this one took me a mere three days.

The book is similar to many popular books recently in that it’s “post-apocalyptic.” But I think this is done in a very unique way. It isn’t your typical hundreds of years in the future after the world has ended. Mandel weaves together the past, present and future to make one really intriguing story.

After the Georgia flu wipes out 99 percent of the world, the survivors try to make the best of the situation and struggle to figure out what their futures will be. One group travels to several settlements bringing the arts through plays and symphonies. They call themselves the Traveling Symphony…fitting.

All of our main characters somehow connect back to one person: Arthur Leander. In fact, all of our main characters’ story lines weave together in an intricate way.

In our present day story, the Traveling Symphony comes across a man who refers to himself as the Prophet in a town called St. Deborah by the Water. He believes he’s God’s messenger. He and his followers called themselves the “light.” They took what they wanted by whatever means necessary, and the Prophet said the flu was a blessing from God. Everything happens for a reason.

The Traveling Symphony seeks out a particular settlement that’s well off. It even holds a museum showing off the things that used to be norms but are artifacts in this new world. They take off for Severn City after they find out a couple friends of theirs have left St. Deborah by the Water due to the Prophet’s new rule. (It turns out that the Prophet is from Severn City). Unbeknownst to the symphony, a young girl hides in one of their caravans as she is set to be one of the Prophet’s next wives. This is a problem. The Prophet wants his property back.

The Prophet’s identity is kept secret for most of the book, and really isn’t explicitly stated, but it’s obvious through the weaving together of all these stories. Now I won’t spoil the ending, but, just like every book like it, Station Eleven leaves you with hope. And that’s all any of us could want, right?

-d

The Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer

I had never heard of Andrew Sean Greer until a couple months ago when a coworker invited me to come with her to hear him speak at my alma mater – Go Shocks! It was really interesting to hear about his process when he writes, and it was one of the funnest author talks I’ve ever been to (he played the ukulele while reading a section of the book he’s currently working on).

I was really intrigued when he talked about The Confessions of Max Tivoli, which was published in 2004. So I went ahead and bought a copy and even got him to sign it. 🙂 And there are so many things I want to say about this book, but I’ll try to keep it brief.

Max Tivoli was born with something I’ll refer to as the Benjamin Button disease. Quick note though, Greer was actually approached three times to sell this story for the making of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, each time offering him more money, but he declined. I guess we can conclude he received some bad advice. The movie came out about four years after Max Tivoli.

Anyway, Max was born in the body of a seventy year old. He and his family moved around a bit and his parents struggled with his disease. His mother gives him the advice to act how he feels, so a young Max decides to act the age he appears to the world.However, he meets one young boy who’s similar in age, Hughie, and he’s the only one who really knows the truth about Max.

After his father disappears, Max and his mother move back to the home he was born in, but now it’s being rented to several families. This is where Max and Hughie meet Alice. She’s a girl in the lower level of the house, and Max falls in love instantly. So the rest of the book follows Max as he meets Alice at three different times in his life. In the second, he even lies to her about his name and they get married. They spend a few happy years together, until Alice finally leaves him for another man.

The whole story is written by Max at body age twelve as a letter to Alice and his son, Sammy (we don’t find out that they’ve conceived until after Alice has been gone for a few years), explaining everything that’s happened over the last sixty years. Max is actually living with his ex-wife and son, pretending to be an orphaned boy. It’s found about 17 years later in a box in Alice’s attic.

One thing I really like about Greer is that, as a gay man himself, all of his novels have at least one gay character. In Max Tivoli, it turns out to be Hughie who we find out has loved Max, despite his disease, for many years. Hughie loves him until the day he leaves Max, despite all the times Max has been selfish and asked so much of Hughie.

If you haven’t read this book, I really encourage you to do so. You can’t help but feel sorry for Max, even though he’s quite selfish at times. I will admit that I wasn’t expecting what happened at the end, which I think make for the best books. I may have even teared up a little.

-d

The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

As a member of the Harry Potter generation, I was so excited when I heard J.K. Rowling was publishing a new book that wasn’t related to the Potter franchise. I bought The Casual Vacancy the day it came out and started reading immediately. Despite my excitement, about 100 pages in, I realized I wasn’t ready for something by Rowling that wasn’t Harry Potter. I decided to put the book away on my shelf and come back to it another day when I was in a better mental state.

A few months back I found myself traveling from Wichita to Kansas City regularly to visit my boyfriend (recently ended), and 3 hour drives can get very boring even with the beautiful Kansas scenery. I quickly exhausted my favorite podcasts and thought I’d give audiobooks a go for the first time. It was at this point (3 years later) that The Casual Vacancy was the right choice for me.

The beginning of this books is where our casual vacancy takes place. Barry Fairbrother of the Pagford Parish Council dies unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm on his anniversary night out with his wife. His death comes when the council is fighting over whether “The Fields” – a place where the poor and drug addicted citizens live – should remain a part of Pagford or not. Barry was a big believer in “The Fields”, and thought that not everyone there was doomed to the same life. One person in particular he cared about was Krystal Wheadon, who he coached in rowing. However, his death caused an imbalance of power and a chance for those against “The Fields” to finally win.

We have a number of characters in this book, both adults and children. The adults are power hungry and the kids hate their parents (mostly). In the midst of the election, The_Ghost_of_Barry_Fairbrother begins posting about the candidates on the Parish Council website. The ghost isn’t just one being though, but a number of the children spilling the secrets of their household, ruining chances of candidates.

I found myself filling the void of Barry Fairbrother. I was rooting for Krystal to beat the hand she was dealt. She didn’t have to be like her meth addict mother. And even when I thought I had it all figured out, the ending was still a shock. (I audibly gasped during an evening run).

If you’ve grown enough to know that Harry Potter will live on in our hearts, and on the pages, forever, go ahead and see what else J.K. Rowling can do.

-d

The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell

I’ve been working on The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell for several months now, but life has continued to get in the way (and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer binge on Netflix). However, I had to finish this book over the past weekend because I was invited to a book club whose October pick was The Bone Clocks, by a coworker.

I admit, I’ve never read anything by David Mitchell, but I was excited to give him a go when I saw this book in my local bookstore. The story is told from many different perspectives, but still centers around one character, Holly Sykes. We meet her at various times of her life starting in 1984 as a teenager to 2043 as a seventy year old grandmother. In the first section, Holly runs away from home after a fight with her mum and a betrayal by her best friend and boyfriend. But she isn’t gone long before finding out her little brother, Jacko, has disappeared. This section is told by Holly and we find out that she’s had a past with psychic experiences.

We don’t hear much more about Holly’s psychic ventures until later in the book, but we do have various run ins with people who are one person in body and another in soul. A little confusing, I know. But basically, we have a couple different groups on people that essentially live forever. The Atemporals are souls who inhabit recently deceased bodies until the body dies. The soul then proceeds to the Dusk where they wait for forty-odd days until they return in another body in any part of the world, at any different age and any gender.

Then we have the Anchorites who also live forever, in a sense. However, the way they do this is by sacrificing special individuals’ souls in order for them to not age. These two groups are at war and it turns out that Holly and Jacko were key components in the First War. Now, many years later, the Atemporals must convince a much older Holly that things she’s experienced were part of a bigger picture and recruit her help to win the Second War.

There’s a lot more I could say about this book, but most of it’s unnecessary for why you should give this book a go. Imagination and exploration is necessary though.

-d

Brother by Ania Ahlborn

I’ve been a little missing in action and I’m sorry about that. Here’s my most recent review on Books and Whatnot. Warning: this book was a little disturbing.

“Brother isn’t a book for the faint of heart. I felt completely lost most of the time, yet unable to turn away. I wanted… no, needed to know the end.

The Morrows live just outside of Dahlia, West Virginia on their farmhouse with next to no neighbors around. They are poor and the children have no education whatsoever. Momma and Wade have three kids, well four if we’re counting the eldest who no longer lives with them. Ray, or Rebel as he likes to call himself, is the oldest of the children at home, followed by Misty Dawn and Michael. We find out early in the book that Michael was “adopted.”

Let me stop for a minute and tell you that the Morrows are crazy. Not “adventurous” crazy, but actually certifiable. Michael’s adoption was actually Ray and Wade picking him up off the side of the road because Ray wanted a new pet. Then there’s Momma who likes girls. She likes to bring them home, torture and kill them. As Ray and Michael get older, they are forced to become accomplices to these murders. Ray by choice and Michael by manipulation.

It was unclear to me for most of the book the motivation of these killings. Was Momma just sick and the rest of the family forced to deal with it? Apparently she had a rough childhood filled with rape and molestation which starts to explain why every girl she kills looks the same… the same as she did growing up. But to me that still didn’t make sense. Michael’s job in the killing process was disposing of the body, but we do not discover this until more than halfway through the book. It’s at this point we find out motive. The Morrows are poor. If they can pick up stray girls without family to miss them out in the boonies, Momma gets her fix and the family gets their protein for dinner. Cannibalism.

I rooted for Michael when he finally began to get out of the family. I was hoping that the girl he met in town would take him away like he wanted. They could be happy together and Michael’s life would be easier. But do all books have happy endings?”

-d